I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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