like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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