they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
