Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
