Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
