Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
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I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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