glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Send help, water and tortillas.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize