Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
