The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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