Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
