i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
