And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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