what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
