she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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