Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
