you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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