K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
did you just send me my own nude
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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