i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
