so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
