I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
