the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everclear isn't food dammit
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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