Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
