What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
