I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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