sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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