i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I have already put on my inside pants.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
