Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
