I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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