Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
