Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
