Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
