Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
