Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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