That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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