My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
