Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
