thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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