just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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