I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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