its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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