So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
