haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
