i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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