a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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