me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
How does one acquire holy water?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Omg I joined a choir last night...
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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