It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
