So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
