I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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