I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize