Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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