well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
