Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
