i came on her dog
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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