It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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