do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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