i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
