He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
