i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
found the other keg... it's in the tree
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
