I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
PS: I just woke up from my shower
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
