Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
