Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
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hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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