Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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