I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
